Many things in life are inexplicable, senseless and even if I sat pondering them for the remainder of my days I would never have an answer. The sudden passing of my Uncle Fred yesterday morning is one of these events.
A countless number of my college (and post-college) friends heard about how amazing and wonderful my Uncle Fred was before I even mentioned my parents. Even before I could feed myself I would have proudly stated that of all my extended family members, my Uncle Fred was my favorite, no questions asked, point blank. Thanksgiving was always a favorite time of year for me because it meant my Uncle Fred (and his dog Tasha) would be arriving, and later, once he met and married my Aunt Pam, she also became a distinguished guest at our feast. And if you want a glimpse into my Uncle Fred's humor, Thanksgiving 2010 we ended our evening watching Friday and my Uncle was just baffled my brothers and I had never seen such a clutch 90s movie...I think the best thing I chose to do was go to school only about a 30-minute drive from my Uncle Fred and Aunt Pam's house. On the occasion I would escape the undergrad grind of work by visiting my Aunt and Uncle and eating spectacular food.
Uncle Fred could cook up some of the best dishes I have ever eaten, something my dad would probably attest to the fact that their mother was a sub-par cook...even I remember the time she screwed up Ramen noodles, ha! This summer, post-grad, living and working in the same I area I went to school, I made sure to visit my Uncle Fred and Aunt Pam on multiple occasions. These meals involved ice cream or cheese (I think a lemberger rosé as well) and then an assortment of delicious food and wine. When I say my Uncle Fred knew food and wine, I think his food blog is enough proof: http://afoodexperience.net/ I could always find myself chatting about the local wine industry, travel, boys, academics, my parents for hours with my Uncle Fred. If there was anyone who could plant a seed in my brain for me to ponder, it was him. I suppose I have a garden (or more a field, since I have a strong preference for wildflowers) of thoughts and ideas I can attribute to him, which is certainly a comforting thing to know. As I said in my previous blog post, when times like these come about I am much happier being older, I have so many excellent memories of my Uncle Fred and I just wish we could have both been older when he passed away.
My Uncle Fred was battling cancer for nearly a year and his body took a turn for the worst the other day. I could sit and ponder big questions like, "why him?" or "why so young?" for days, but I find myself at ease in my heart because I know Uncle Fred was not someone to just walk through life, he seized it and made the best of it. How many times did he assure me that he was hopeful everything would turn out alright, even while he was in pain. One of the happiest moments from this summer was when I went over to my Aunt and Uncle' house shortly after my Uncle Fred had just received very good news about his health...we settled down on their porch overlooking Canandaigua lake and drank both the rosé I had brought and Chardonnay supplied by them. I was so hopeful that everything was really okay. Unfortunately, a short time later bad news arrived again, yet my Uncle Fred was ready to head it off.
He made me promise him (on more than one occasion) that I would not be at the center of any international incidents, and as my previous blog post suggests, I will never break this promise. Keuka College posted a nice blurb about my beloved Uncle http://news.keuka.edu/featured-story/in-loving-memory-frederic-l-hoyle#comments and I can only thank those who commented for saying such kind things and sharing wonderful memories.
If there is one image I keep coming back to it is my Uncle Fred laughing and slightly shaking his head at something I have just said...I cannot fathom how much I am going to miss you in the coming weeks, months, and years. As the title to this blog post suggests, words are not enough right now...I love you.
RIP Uncle Fred =\
ReplyDeleteI remember you talking about him and you always had such positive things to say. But he is no longer suffering anymore. That alone is a reason to celebrate his life rather than mourn his death.